Last week I told you a little about the tactics I employ at the kilo restaurant near my work. It’s hardly rocket science, but there are a few things that you should bear in mind when you visit the kilo.
My top tip is not to lose your ticket. Without the ticket you have no way of proving how much (or more to the point, how little) you ate. Therefore you will have to pay the massive default price, set deliberately high in order to eliminate the incentive to ‘accidentally’ lose your ticket after a big meal.
Here are ten more tips/rules/guidelines on how to behave at the kilo restaurant (stolen adapted from a recent article in IG):
1. This ain’t finger-food
Don’t go snacking on food before you’ve paid for it.
2. Keep your hair on
Try not to drop hairs in the food (did this one need saying?)
3. No tortoises in the kilo
These places get very busy at lunch. It is very annoying when someone in front is dithering and taking ages to make their mind up. Get in, get your food, get out of the way. The article suggests a tactic I often employ: do a little reconnaissance run by the food first so you know what you want.
4. Don’t be greedy
The etiquette consultant interviewed suggests that 500g should be the maximum you put on your plate. If you want more than that you should return later for a second weighing.
|Would sir like a waffer-thin mint?|
5. No table-hogging
During the lunch time rush, many people like to reserve a table with a bag, then go off to collect their food. This is common, but a bit naughty. Really you should get your food first, then grab a table. Alternatively, sit down, get a drink and then go off to get your food.
6. No changing your mind
It happens to us all. You wander along and see something tasty. “Ooh, salmon!” and put it on your plate. Then you look over and notice they’ve got some really yummy looking picanha today. No! You can’t put the salmon back!
7. No cherry picking
Are you the sort of person who doesn’t like eating the crusts from your sandwiches? Only want the good bits? It is not cool to take the yolks out of the fried eggs.
8. Learn the rules of Queueing
National queueing behaviour is a popular topic with Britons on holiday. We generally judge the French to be the worst and this makes us feel superior. Personally I think Brazilians are quite good queuers (though I’m not sure they enjoy it quite as much as the Brits).
|Brazilians play football. The British queue.|
9. Be gentle
If you’re taking a portion of say, lasagne, don’t go digging around in the middle or mixing it up. Try to take a nice neat square and don’t mess it up for everyone who comes after you.
10. Complain quietly
Kilo restaurants detest a scandal in public places. Our etiquette expert advises that if you find a hair / cockroach / rodent in your food, you should not scream and make a fuss. Calmly call the waiter and explain the situation. [Not sure I agree with this one].
Phew! After all that I think I might just make myself a sandwich!