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Lawyers in Flip-flops!

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Rio gets pretty hot this time of year. If you pop out for lunch around 12.30 you may find that your favourite restaurant, which is 10 minutes walk away, will suddenly not seem so alluring. Ten minutes walk in 38°C (100F) heat? Maybe you should just grab some rice and beans from the crappy Kilo restaurant next to work.

 

50°C (122°F)? Really? Like most visitors (and locals too, I suspect) I enjoy quoting these signs when telling people how hot it is in Rio. But seriously, I saw one once which said 54 and it was no more than 35. I suspect these are sun-assisted temperatures, rather than in-the-shade temperatures that are more conventionally used.

 

I know what you’re thinking – 38 degrees isn’t that bad – it was as hot as that when I was in [Torremolinos/Death Valley/Timbuktu] last year for my holidays. OK tough guy, but were you wearing a full business suit at the time? Yeah, didn’t think so!

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Sexy times at the airport

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I know. Airports aren’t generally thought of as sexy places. I guess there must be a few ‘aerophiles’ out there, a few lonely people who sit for hours on end identifying passenger jets and writing down aircraft registration numbers in books. But for the rest of us, visiting an airport is a fairly unexciting experience of waiting for people or planes.


Well here in Rio there is another, infinitely more tedious experience waiting for you at the airport: the offices of the Polícia Federal (PF). The Federal Police are responsible for dealing with visa applications and other issues related to estrangeiros (foreigners) and my wife and I have spent many, many hours sitting, waiting, pleading and complaining in their offices. Maybe I will bore you another day with a more detailed account of my experiences at the PF, but for now let’s just say that it’s a painful experience and usually leads to stress, exasperation and arguments.


‘So where does the sexy part come in?’ I hear you demand with libidinous impatience. Well that’s where this smoky-voiced lady comes in…

This was Íris Lettieri back in 1974. She has a sexy voice.

 

 

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Look what just rolled into Rio

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One of my first ever posts was related to the buses of Rio. Back then I used to churn out a post a week and each one was a lot longer than the ones I write now. That particular post contains illustrated advice on how to hail a bus, an assortment of anecdotes and even a film recommendation (you lucky people!). 

 

Taken from one of my first ever posts, this illustration (done by my own fair hand) demonstrates how to catch that tricky bus in the outside lane…


Little did I know it at the time, but I would go on to become something of a bus nerd. I guess it is the same everywhere, when you use a transport system every day then you take an interest (I remember having in-depth discussions back in London over what was the best underground route for getting from Baker St to South Kensington during rush hour).


So I admit it, I’m kind of into the buses here in Rio. And something cool is roving the streets right now. Something hi-tech, something luxurious, something (dare I say it?) space-age in appearance.

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How to use the Rio Metro (Beginners Guide)

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A few weeks ago my wife and I were accosted as we entered our local metro station in Glória. But before you start thinking this is going to be another tale of Rio’s notorious violence, I should make it clear that the only law enforcement team we needed were the Manners Police. 


A middle aged South African guy came up to us and frantically shouted “Finally! Someone who speaks English”. He went on to demand that we tell him how to get to Ipanema, going on to mention that he and his wife (who had wordlessly appeared at his side) were completely lost and no one could explain anything to him. We were happy to help, but were both quite taken aback by his slightly rude, aggressive stance through all this. Like what had taken us so long to get there to help him?

Metro Rio – nothing here to be scared of (but don’t expect the staff to speak English).

Not that I particularly want to help him again, but I thought it might be nice to put together some simple guidelines for someone coming to Rio who wanted to save some cash on taxis. 

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Tenacious, Tasty and Deadly

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To round off my threesome of plant posts, I thought that today we could look at a plant (in fact a group of plants) that has stirred up a bit of trouble here in Brazil.

 

Right next to the orchid collection at Jardim Botanico there is a huge collection of Bromeliads.

 

The Bromeliad group contains over 3,000 species – some are tenacious others delicious and some of them can be deadly.

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