Eu quero tchu…

Every so often a song comes along that is so annoying, you just have to do something to get it out of your system. During the year of my Latin American travels the song was the Black Eyed Peas’ I’ve got a feeling. It was everywhere – in clubs, bars, bus stations, you name it – there was no escape. Very quickly it would take just the opening notes of  send everyone groaning in pain. The problem wasn’t just that it was a fairly crappy song. The problem was that like it or not, you would find yourself humming it constantly. And if you weren’t humming it, someone else nearby would be humming it and guess what – 30 seconds later you would be humming it again.

Well right now in Brazil we are suffering another of these torture songs. If you’ve been subjected to it already then all I need to say is “Eu quero tchu…“. You will roll your eyes and reply: “Eu quero tcha” and then I will go “Eu quero tchu tcha tcha tchu tcha…”. Like all the best/worst of these songs, it comes with a dance and in this case it even features a celebrity footballer.

This is Neymar – a hugely skillful footballer who plays for Santos and Brazil. Apparently his goal celebration inspired João Lucas and Marcelo to score their hit Tchu Tcha Tcha.

To get a feeling of how annoying this song is, you should hear it. Check it out:

You don’t really need to hear it all – after the first minute you’ll have heard enough that you’ll be singing it forever (you can thank me later). If you know anyone else who is suffering this song you can ruin their day by simply saying “Eu quero tchu…” within earshot and then leave that hanging in the air. Their poor tormented inner voice will sing the rest ad infinitum.

In case anyone is wondering, the lyrics are ridiculous. “Eu quero” means “I want”. As far as I’m aware, there’s no translation for “tchu” or “tcha”, so it’s just nonsense. In true internet style, this song has gone all memey – people have found all kinds of ways of trying to find catharsis in humour. Here are a few of my favourites:

Nice topical self-deprecation here. The guy from Tunisia is saying “Eu quero direitos” (I want rights); the guy from Egypt is saying “Eu quero democracia” (I want democracy); the guy from Libya is saying “Eu quero liberdade” (I want liberty); the guy from Brazil? He’s saying “Eu quero tchu tcha tcha tchu tcha!”.

Fry from Futurama doesn’t know whether he wants “Tchu” or whether he wants “Tcha”.

We’re on a road to tchu tcha…

The guy at the bottom is saying “I want you to f*ck yourself you son of a bitch!”. I know exactly how you feel my friend…