The Brazilian eating experience that gives me the fear
Thinking back, I realise that I’ve written quite a lot about the culture of lunch in Brazil. There was the fact that Brazilians have a proper, sit-down lunch with plates and cutlery every day (the modern British norm of a quick sandwich at your desk is not an option here). Then I looked at the joys of the Kilo restaurant – the rules and the strategy!
On the whole I’ve taken to this aspect of Brazilian culture very well – I really enjoy taking a bit of time to get away from my desk to have a peroper lunch. But during my first year here there was one lunchtime word that would leave me trembling mass of fear and stress: Spoleto.
Spoleto – the scene of so many stressful lunches…
Spoleto is a chain of restaurants that specialises in pasta and was a favourite of my workmates at my first job in Brazil. But this is no conventional Italian joint – you have to choose everything.
Here’s how it works: first you choose from 10 different pastas (spaghetti, penne, farfale, etc). Next you choose from 6 sauce bases (tomato & basil, wild mushroom, white wine & herbs, etc).
Next you choose what items you want in your sauce. And let me tell you there is a lot of choice at this stage – sun-dried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, bacon, ham, sausage, seafood, various different types of cheese, every vegetable you can think of – 30 or more different items in total. But you don’t just choose one – you get 8 units of choice. So you could have 4 of mozarella, 2 of bacon and 2 of fresh basil. Or, you could have 3 of ham, 2 of sweetcorn, 2 of peas, 1 of anchovies – you get the picture! I would like to point out that there is such a thing as too much choice!
Maybe at this stage you are wondering what all the fuss its about – so there’s a lot of choice, big deal! Well imagine having to make your choices as a pushy chef interrogates you – “What else? What else?” – with a long, impatient queue of people behind you. That’s right, everyone queues up to make their selections and the staff cook it while you (and everyone behind you) wait.
The dreaded ‘toppings’ – make your 8 choices and make them fast!! Quick! You have to choose now! 8 choices right now!
And now factor in my (at first) very poor grasp of Portuguese to this atmosphere of impatience. What should be a pleasant anticipation of lunch was transformed into a complete stress-fest!
Clearly Spoleto are aware of how stressful their format is. Here they are boasting about having more than 50,000 fans on Facebook by joking that “More than 50,000 people can take the pressure of having to choose 8 ingredients”!
After the first few harrowing visits, I started to think that maybe I could simply learn to give my responses in order: After the first garbled question from the chef, my response should be “spaghetti”, then “tomato & basil” and finally list some toppings.
But then the next visit, the chef looked confused when I said “spaghetti”. After several attempts to understand what the guy was asking, someone in the ever-growing line behind me explained that the chef was asking if I wanted butter or olive oil on my pasta. By this point I just wanted to scream “I don’t give a f*ck about oil or butter, just give me something to eat and let me get the hell out of here!!!”
Well, I had always thought I was the only one to suffer this ‘Spoleto stress’, but out turns out that I am not alone. When I saw this video I decided it was time to share.
I love this clip – it is pretty close to the real experience – your ‘chef’ tends to be very pushy and impatient and it seems there are always more choices to make – at one point he pressures her into choosing peppers and then she goes “Oh god, I hate peppers” and in the end she whimpers “I just want to have lunch…”
Are you (or would you be) brave enough to take on the Spoleto Challenge? It is not for the faint-hearted…
It is with some reluctance that I have to admit that Spoleto do have some rather brilliant adverts. I will leave you with these two brilliant pieces made my Rio Ad firm Artplan to “show the inner joy we feel when we eat something delicious”
Not a bad representation of hungry!
**EDIT**
Special thanks to Andrew for posting the link to the follow-up video commissioned by Spoleto themselves. Definitely worth a watch!
Oh I love Spoleto!! You are right, though, it is definitely hard on those just learning Portuguese. The one at my mall has the little order slips that you can mark up to avoid the stress of asking. Loved the video. It reminded me of the Seinfeld Soup Nazi.
Hey Corinne!
I’m not sure I can ever forgive them for all the stress they put me through, but I will grudgingly admit that the end result is some pretty tasty pasta :)
Heh heh heh – I love the Soup Nazi. Most people find this hard to believe, but while I do know who Seinfeld is, I’ve never really seen any of his shows. Yes, I know…
Isn’t that true of a lot of Brits? My understanding is that Seinfeld wasn’t aired on British television when it originally came out, or at least not consistently like so many other major sitcoms. You can still catch reruns of Friends every day on more than one channel but I can’t remember ever seeing a whole episode of Seinfeld in the UK.
That’s right – when my kiwi brother-in-law came to the UK he couldn’t believe how nobody really new much at all about Seinfeld. We’d heard of it, but never seen it really. He thought it was criminal that no one had got their act together to properly schedule this classic comedy. Is it too late to find funny? Has it aged well? I liked the soup nazi bit – that was very funny…
I think you would still enjoy it. I watched most of it in Brazil as reruns. That was about ten years ago during a massive Seinfeld marathon on the Sony Channel (they showed all episodes in order from first to last).
Tom – Sony on Brazilian cable shows 2 episodes back to back from 18 to 19 hours M-F if you want to try and catch some.
Thanks Corinne – I’m usually just thinking of leaving the office at 19:00… :( But, I’m sure I can find them on-line somewhere! You two have convinced me! :)
I just can’t handle Spoleto slow pokes. Oh how I dream of this when witnessing someone agitated and distressed while stalling the line.
Heh heh, I think I read it in the comments, but I totally agree. It’s Leslie Nielsen’s second slap that makes the scene…
Bahahahahahah! It’s so true!! And I took on Spoleto by myself one hungry day – I had no idea what to expect! I suggest going at around 2:30pm so you don’t have the pressure of the line on top of the pressure of the chef… Also, if you can try your best to be a girl, that seems to help ;)
Woah, you went on your own?! Even today I won’t go in without a native speaker for back-up! ;)
The great thing about that video is that it was made as an independent piss take of the typical “pick your ingredients restaurant” experience (a lot of native speakers go through the same anguish as foreigners). The owners of Spoleto decided to turn it around by sponsoring the makers of the video, asked them to rename the episode to “Spoleto” and even commissioned a sequel:
http://kibeloco.com.br/2012/08/29/spoleto-parte-2
That’s pretty cool in my book! (But I would still pay more for a chef – you know, someone who makes tasty dishes for a living – to choose the ingredients for me…)
Ha ha! I had heard of the follow up, but I have to admit I didn’t bother find it and was kind of expecting it to be less funny once Spoleto got on board to ‘corporatise’ it. But fair play, that’s actually really good!
But I agree with you – I’d rather choose from 5-10 items on a menu (at my leisure!) that have already been tried and tested!
Hahahahaha! I loved the video! There’s no way in hell I’d go there……I have to concentrate just to order at Subway, and they’re low-key by comparison. There is such a thing as having too many choices, and when you add the element of urgency to the mix, well, who needs it? But their print ads are amazing.
Yes, those ads are great aren’t they? And glad to hear I’m not the only chicken ;)
HHAHAH this was great.
Just a side note: It seems that São Paulo is super heavily Italian influenced….is it the same way in Rio? I never thought it was, but if they have restaurants dedicated to pastas, maybe I’m wrong…
Hee hee – glad you enjoyed hearing about my stressy, horrible lunchtime experiences Alex! The word is schadenfreude I believe ;)
I don’t think Rio is nearly as Italian as SP. Also (I just discovered this recently) Spoleto is nationwide and even has a few international stores. Who knows? Maybe they’ll make it to the states before long… [evil grin]
Hahaha ! Eu ri muito e até chorei litrosss ! Uahaahaha ! Never heard of Spoleto. I think I would choose everything after two seconds. I am super enthusiastic about options for lunch. But my husband… He would get lost. He cannot decide what to pick in a kilo buffet… He keeps walking around… and around… Even in a boteco, he cannot decide if he is going to order some olives or some shrimp. Birthday party ? He doesn’t know if he prefers kibe or coxinha. Ahnn… he keeps thinking… thinking again. He never has a wish in the middle of the day to eat something like “empadinha”. And lunch is a veeeery sad moment in the Dutch offices. Some bread and cheese… that’s all. Bah !
Hee hee – being decisive is not easy Ana! Well, not for everyone. The problem with choosing one thing is that you are also choosing not to have something else! Unless you have a very big plate! :D
I enjoy your posts very much.
This reminds me of my first day in Brazil several years ago, when I was visiting Recife and on my own for lunch. Since I wasn’t working, I had the advantage of waiting until the lunchtime work crowd had mostly left. I was in the Shopping and I was watching how things seemed to work. Generally, it seemed that there was an employee on the public side of the counter who had a menu, and you told her what you wanted. She would then write it down. Well I ended up choosing this pasta place, but I don’t think it was Spoleto. I spoke with the woman with the menu, and had her write down on her pad what things I wanted with my pasta. Next, I took the ticket and tried to hand it to the man behind the counter, who would prepare my pasta. He wouldn’t take it, although it took me a bit of time to figure out why. I eventually understood that I had to read off to him what I wanted. And I also quickly realized that I needed to tell it to him in the order that he was to cook it, which I don’t think was the order that it was on the ticket. For example, first onions, then mushrooms, etc. Between all the things I was trying to process in my head, from what’s the word for spinach to how do things function there, I also had to think how he was going to cook it. It was definitely a quick learning experience, and fortunately there was no one else waiting behind me in line. It was intimidating enough the way it was.
Thanks Steven!
That really takes things to the next level – you have to tell him in the order that he cooks it? :-o As you say, that is a lot of thinking on your part, just to get lunch! When you paid at the end, did you have to tell the cashier how much change he/she owed you? ;)
Spoleto is my childhood food I loved going to the mall and eating it, so this was not the article for me 😓
Hey Leticia! Thanks for your comment. It just goes to show: context is everything isn’t it? My ‘stressful selection experience’ is your ‘happy childhood memory!’ :)